Summer's Guilty Pleasures

Let's hear it for summer. Warm nights, Cool cocktails, bad summer television.
Yes, I know you watch. I know for many of you, getting into a skimpy bathing suit is right up there on the to do list with a root canals sans novacaine, clubbing with Kathie Lee Gifford and stepping in a steaming pile of...anyway, let's talk about what you don't admit to watching, but do anyway.

Let's do a countdown, shall we?

5. The Bachelorette. Who didn't hang in there during the entire season to watch Jillian make faux pas after toe sucking, cad country singer, erectile disfunctioning faux pas. It was bad tv at its finest. I for one was less interested in which loser Jillian would choose to give the final rose to and more interested in watching jerks like Dave (don't grab my shirt) arrogant Wes and Tanner P. Oh, Tanner P. Foot fetish aside, either spill your guts and say who has a girlfriend or keep your trap shut and hope Wes writes a song about it. "You know girlfriends....they don't come easy..." Oh and that poor sap who came back only to cry on the balcony. And the other poor sap Reid who was too little too late in his proposal. C'mon, she is in the dress, about to get engaged to someone else, but see guys think, No, She wants me! Listen guys, just because she said you might be the one but there are still 5 other guys left, take a hike, if she wants you, she would have kept you! It was all worth it to see more bachelors than any other season crying, pleading and whoring themselves for our Monday night pleasure. C'mon ladies, this IS our Monday night Football.
She chose Ed. Let's just hope he can "rise to the occasion" and not take off in the middle of their honeymoon.
4. So You Think You Can Dance, America's Got Talent, Dance Your Ass Off.
These are all the same show right? Panel of C list judges, check, People jumping around to Maniac, check, someone cries in the last 2 minutes, check.
3. NYC Prep/ Miami Social/The Fashion Show Remember the golden days of Bravo. The real Project Runway, Top Chef, Queer Eye. *Sigh* Oh my gays, my beautiful, beautiful gays. Now its Super rich Brats, Super Skinny, tan, beyotches and that chick from Destiny's Child who is NOT Beyonce. Ugh! Where's my Tim Gunn, my Padma Laskshmi, and the Klum, you can't have a runway show without the Klum!
2. Big Brother Lets see, Dumb Body Builder, another dumb body builder, 2 Geeky PHD's, a dumb blond, the token gay, the token tattoed chick and a narcissist with a horrible laugh. Oh and a pregnant Julie Chen. Its still better than re runs of 2 and a Half Men.
1. "Dating In The Dark."My favorite new dating show by far. Take 3 guys, 3 gals, lots of getting to know each other and connecting, then the lights come on. Yep, the guys face falls when she looks nothing like Jessica Alba. But its usually the women who take their rolly luggage down the long driveway and turn their back on the guy they felt a connection with all week but suddenly the "chemistry' is gone when they see his face. Shallow pricks!
Muhahahah! Its horribly good tv!