That's right, it's a Tampon Stun Gun

Why that looks just like two Playtex applicator tampons! Do not, I repeat do not borrow a tampon from your paranoid friend Alice who is known to keep mace AND pepper spray in her handbag. You could be in for the "Toxic Shock*" of your life!

*Remember Toxic Shock? If you don't, Google "toxic shock", it will make my joke so much funnier.

Who exactly is this for? To tell you the truth, I don't know if I want that question answered. I just want to know how to get this horrified look off my face.

I know, Lil Timmy below might help!

Interesting way to get your son to stop jibberjabbering in the backseat of the car.

Twenty years on, Lil' Timmy is still traumatized.

Max Factor Does it Again

Reprising their infamous movie roles...

Charlie Sheen in "Platoon"
Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia
Meg Tilly and Jane Fonda in Agnes Of God
Tom Cruise in Interview with a Vampire, Naturally.
and... Kevin Costner's Oscar winning Dances with Wolves

5 Beauty Must Haves for Summer

In the 1920's, makeup guru Max Factor came up with a face measuring device to gauge how to apply makeup to make up any face with near perfect symmetry. Forget all that, I'm here to share things I like. For a product to make it on my list, it had better be tried, true and worth the money. Here are a few I recently found that have made my summer better.

Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry Touch Sunblock spf 55 and 70
I know what you are thinking, "Spf 55 and 70? Where's my Ban De Soleil Orange Gelee spf 4?!" Listen people, you are not George Hamilton and the Sun is not your friend. Like cigarettes and alcohol, sun is the trifecta to make you look older, wrinkly, decrease collagen and increase the killer Sun Cancer. This sunscreen given to me by dermatologist and Big Brother winner Dr. Will Kirby. Doesn't sting, feels good and light on the skin and has little odor.(Just like Dr. Kirby) Wanna tan? Get some self tanner. Save the skin you're in.

Epsom Salt
http://www.epsomsaltcouncil.org/health_benefits.htm
You will be amazed as I was at the numerous benefits of Epsom Salt baths.
(Try a cool one, its amazing!)

Auromere Face and Body Mud
http://vitacost.com
The only face treatment that un puffs the face after a long night. Put it on your body and wrap in plastic and your dimply skin will be smoother. Pour a little powder in the bath (with your epsom salts) and you have a soothing spa treatment. At 13.55 for 16 oz. Its a years worth of treatments for nearly nothing.

Scrubby Gloves (4 dollars)
You can find these in most drug stores like CVS or Walgreens. Put 'em on , put a little olive or grapeseed oil in your hands and scrub away. You will end up with baby smooth skin. Just hang them to dry.

Sally Hansen Lip Inflation Extreme
Lovely cinnamon flavor, good plumping action.Gently scrub your lips first and voila, Angelina Jolie! Well almost. Just as good as the $50 lip plumper for about 8 dollars! Sometimes you can get two for one.

Comfort Food

I thought I would steer you to my recipe site... "For The Love Of Soup". I created it after I read the BBC study on how eating soup before a main meal helps you stay on your diet, make healthier choices and eat less.

Many of my soups are low fat or low carb, all delicious and easy to make. You will not be disappointed if you try one of them. But, you say, it's summer!

Then try 2 served chilled soups... Gazpacho or scrumptious Mango Coconut Summer Soup .

Also, take a leap and tread South of the Border with my Chili Con Carne and Authentic Mexican Refried Beans! Margaritas and chips everyone? I thought so!

There is something for everyone. Enjoy!

Summer's Guilty Pleasures

Let's hear it for summer. Warm nights, Cool cocktails, bad summer television.
Yes, I know you watch. I know for many of you, getting into a skimpy bathing suit is right up there on the to do list with a root canals sans novacaine, clubbing with Kathie Lee Gifford and stepping in a steaming pile of...anyway, let's talk about what you don't admit to watching, but do anyway.

Let's do a countdown, shall we?

5. The Bachelorette. Who didn't hang in there during the entire season to watch Jillian make faux pas after toe sucking, cad country singer, erectile disfunctioning faux pas. It was bad tv at its finest. I for one was less interested in which loser Jillian would choose to give the final rose to and more interested in watching jerks like Dave (don't grab my shirt) arrogant Wes and Tanner P. Oh, Tanner P. Foot fetish aside, either spill your guts and say who has a girlfriend or keep your trap shut and hope Wes writes a song about it. "You know girlfriends....they don't come easy..." Oh and that poor sap who came back only to cry on the balcony. And the other poor sap Reid who was too little too late in his proposal. C'mon, she is in the dress, about to get engaged to someone else, but see guys think, No, She wants me! Listen guys, just because she said you might be the one but there are still 5 other guys left, take a hike, if she wants you, she would have kept you! It was all worth it to see more bachelors than any other season crying, pleading and whoring themselves for our Monday night pleasure. C'mon ladies, this IS our Monday night Football.
She chose Ed. Let's just hope he can "rise to the occasion" and not take off in the middle of their honeymoon.
4. So You Think You Can Dance, America's Got Talent, Dance Your Ass Off.
These are all the same show right? Panel of C list judges, check, People jumping around to Maniac, check, someone cries in the last 2 minutes, check.
3. NYC Prep/ Miami Social/The Fashion Show Remember the golden days of Bravo. The real Project Runway, Top Chef, Queer Eye. *Sigh* Oh my gays, my beautiful, beautiful gays. Now its Super rich Brats, Super Skinny, tan, beyotches and that chick from Destiny's Child who is NOT Beyonce. Ugh! Where's my Tim Gunn, my Padma Laskshmi, and the Klum, you can't have a runway show without the Klum!
2. Big Brother Lets see, Dumb Body Builder, another dumb body builder, 2 Geeky PHD's, a dumb blond, the token gay, the token tattoed chick and a narcissist with a horrible laugh. Oh and a pregnant Julie Chen. Its still better than re runs of 2 and a Half Men.
1. "Dating In The Dark."My favorite new dating show by far. Take 3 guys, 3 gals, lots of getting to know each other and connecting, then the lights come on. Yep, the guys face falls when she looks nothing like Jessica Alba. But its usually the women who take their rolly luggage down the long driveway and turn their back on the guy they felt a connection with all week but suddenly the "chemistry' is gone when they see his face. Shallow pricks!
Muhahahah! Its horribly good tv!